And miles to go before I sleep

I have been unable to move out of this weird, excited, highly charged state. I know it will fade, but I want it to happen sooner rather than later if only for my body's sake. I've been attempting to find a regular sleep pattern, but I'm tired midday rather than at night and I want to move away from napping. The napping is awesome, it means I get more sleep than 4 hours, but it also means that I'm not productive at all because when I wake up mid-evening I don't do anything. And it also means that I'm eating weird (poorly, really) and unhealthily. I'm going to try to work on all things that are unhealthy in my life this year. This year? It's not New Year's, you say? Hmmm...let's go with the Jewish New Year then, that's next week, right? Or something. Heh.

So I'm in need of sleep. I get sleep on my days off. And then I go back to freaking out and acting like a teenager in love and don't sleep when I should. I barely know him, we won't be talking any time soon, we don't live on the same continent, twelve year difference, no real means of contact aside from possible web stalking which is not cool, and fairly certain he isn't into me so there's no reason for me to feel like this. One weekend a year does not a relationship make, nor does it build any sort of lasting friendship really. Oh well, I'll go about my days until this feeling stops and the old ones creep in, because it's inevitable.

Still I wish I could sleep. Lost snippets of poems and literature bandy about my head. I'm glad for the internet most days because I can now identify what my mind fixates on and either expunge it or deepen the hold it has on me. Frost is always in my head, so is Poe. I never thought of myself as someone who enjoyed poetry, but it sticks in there and runs around for days making me understand that I really am intended to teach Language Arts. I miss school. I need to get into a program to get my endorsement done so I can start teaching. I'm drifting through the dark, deep woods and I do have miles to go. I'll make it. I swear I will.